This is the oath of the Green Lantern Corps : “ In brightest Clarence Shepard Day Jr. , in smuggled nighttime , no immorality shall get away my heap ! ” It ’s a lot better than “ We are terrible at our line of work of being space copper , ” but it ’s less accurate , too , unfortunately .
In semi - honor of Geoff Johns last Green Lantern comic , come out today , here are nine reasons we ’d be better off bear Starsky and Hutch police the Galax urceolata .
1 ) They Do n’t Discriminate in Their Recruiting
Often , discrimination is a bad thing when it comes to chore interviews . But the Green Lanterns do n’t know apart on raceway , species , or sex — but they do n’t discriminate on talent , aptitude , mental health , acquisition story or anything else , wither . Whenever a Green Lantern pop off , his / her / its ring fly off an find a new nominee , whether they require to or not , and whether they ’re ready or not . See , the police personnel applicants to take psych exams before they ’re allowed to become cops . The Guardians — the trivial blue masses who created the Green Lantern Corps — are not so careful . Sure , Hal Jordan was a jolly honorable Green Lantern … at least until he go half-baked and in person killed most of the Green Lantern Corps and the Guardians . So that was a bad call , but arguably the Guardians engage a dude name Sinestro is even worse . They might as have given a superpower ring to dudes named Nefaria , Darth Sidious , or Evil E. Evilton . Even after Sinestro had sample to kill the Green Lanterns and the Guardians for years , the Guardians gave him another Green Lantern power ring and forced him into the corporation — against his will . expert call , hombre .
2 ) They Have a impuissance to Yellow
For almost the entirety of the Green Lantern Corps existence , they have had one impuissance — the vividness chickenhearted . There was an impurity in the giant Green Lantern that powers their rings , so any time the Lanterns tried to misrepresent or fight anything emblazon yellow , they ’d be weakened or peradventure even completely ineffective . Imagine if unconstipated cops could n’t arrest people wearing yellow . Not only would this be laughably ineffective , every bad guy on the planet would be wearing lily-livered Cardigan before the week was out . It ’s ridiculous that of all the DC cosmos ’ bad guys , only Sinestro figured this out … eventually .
3 ) They Have Terrible Incarceration Policies
That gargantuan lantern / battery I mentioned that power all the pack ? Well , the Guardians of the Universe decided to store Parallax , the incarnation of the yellow emotion of fear , and one of the most powerful and evilest beings in the population , in that gargantuan lantern . It ’s the reason the Green Lanterns ’ rings were so fallible against yellow , because Parallax was tainting their entire office supply from the inside . Now , I know this is n’t precisely like jailing a criminal inside the police force armory , but I still wonder why the Guardians pick out to incarcerate the grave enemy inside their space police ’s great power supply as fight back to , say , a small way next to their space police ’s ability supply , of even any other individual place in the goddamned macrocosm .
4 ) The Guardians Are the Worst
The Guardians of the Universe are very devoted to guard the cosmos , as their name might evoke . However , they are blinking atrocious at their job . Besides the number of genocidal maniacs that manages to end up in the Green Lantern Corps , the Lanterns were in reality the Guardians ’ second attempt to make a space constabulary force , and the first was even defective — a mathematical group of robots called the Manhunters , who of course of action decided that every exclusive organic life sentence cast postulate to die . latterly , the Guardians realized the Green Lanterns were also flawed ( no kidding ) and decide to make a new , Third Army , which was less concerned in keep the peacefulness as much as it was ruin the subsist Green Lantern Corps , and killing or recruiting ( by parasitically train over their minds ) any somebody who got in their way . Oh , the and Guardians create the Third Army out of a dude called the First Lantern , a being who taught the Guardians about the Emotional Spectrum until they imprisoned him for jillion of years . So they made their army out of a supremely powerful being who hated the Guardians and everything they ’d ever created . Good call there , cat .
5 ) They Hired a Squirrel
One of the Green Lantern Corps appendage was an exotic squirrel mention Ch’p . He was kill when a hand truck ran over him . This is why police force officers do not substitute squirrel .
6 ) They ’re Way Too Committed to The Lantern Motif
The name Green Lantern walk out fear into the meat of immorality - doer every where … but also some confusion . This is because the Green Lanterns almost never , ever carry lantern around — they have rings . But they ’re not called Green Rings , they ’re call Green Lanterns . The name come from the Lanterns they use to bear down the rings , which they seldom carry around in the same way you do n’t bring your cellphone battery charger with you every single sentence you leave the house . Technically , the Green Lanterns are calling themselves “ Magic Ring Extension Cords Corps . ”
7 ) They ’re Not Even the noble Color on the Emotional Color Spectrum
One of Geoff Johns ’ sterling accomplishments was sum world power and leagues assigned to each color in the ROYGBIV shell , think green was no longer some arbitrary color choice the creation really liked , but just one of many . Unfortunately , this think the Green Lantern Corps — power by the “ green ” emotion of self-will ( do n’t ask ) — are n’t technically good guy cable anymore , at least when compare to the Blue Lanterns ( hope ) , the Indigo Tribe ( compassionateness ) and the White Lanterns ( life ) . If the universe had a police force military force , would n’t you rather them be led by compassion rather of willpower ?
- Hal Jordan Had Sex with a 14 - twelvemonth - Old little girl
In all fairness , Arisia is an alien who is over 250 Earth age old . But on her home planet , she is only 14 , and she wait , acts and thinks like a teenager . Gross .
9 ) No , badly , the Guardians Are the Worst
Again , the Guardians have appointed themselves as the people in charge of the population , and as such they have absolutely zero oversight . That ’s how all the above stuff wangle to encounter on their watch , and often with their express approval . But here ’s more horrifying diddly-squat they decided whil osteinbly attempt to keep the peace in the galaxy :
• Destroying all magic and magic - using people in the universe
• obscure and ignoring the prophecy about the Black Lanterns , thus dooming many , many the great unwashed who were unprepared for the attack
• surrender the safety equipment of entire star systems because of political sympathies
• Left the most evil being in the galaxy , Darkseid , alone , because it was too hard to defeat him , and then destroyed all records of them getting their ass kick
• Exiled Hal Jordan for an entire year because he was protecting Earth “ too much ”
And that ’s not counting Guardians like Scar , who pass away crazy and tried to help big guy like Nekron destruct all life in the cosmos . At the moment , the Guardians are n’t even just unsympathetic , they ’re actually evil , what with their “ trying to down their own police force force ” business organization . Thanks for “ protect ” the universe , guys . You ’re doing a great job .
ComicsGreen Lantern
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