If you ’ve been craving more of Dean Koontz ’s feeling - lecture , supernatural hassle - viewfinder Odd Thomas , then you ’re in for a treat . First , Koontz a three - part novelette come out in e - record form part next week , Odd Interlude . And then a whole new novel , Odd Apocalypse , come out in July . But why wait to bug out the playfulness ? We ’ve got an exclusive selection from the chess opening of Odd Interlude , right here .
Top image : FurryScaly on Flickr
ONE
They say that every route leads home if you manage to go there . I long for home base , for the town of Pico Mundo and the desert in which it bloom , but the roadstead that I take seem to lead me to one hell after another .
In the front passenger fundament of the Mercedes , through the side windowpane , I watch the champion , which appear to be doctor but in fact are ever moving and perpetually recede . They seem endless , but they are only suns that will burn down out one day .
When she was just a tiddler , Stormy Llewellyn mislay her mother , Cassiopeia . I lost Stormy when she and I were twenty . One of the northern constellation is called Cassiopeia . No group of remote suns is name for Stormy .
I can see Cassiopeia ’s namesake gamy in the night , but I can see Stormy only in my retentiveness , where she rest as vivid as any living person I might run across .
The star and everything else in the universe begin with the big bang , which was when time also began . Some situation exist before the universe , exists outside of it now , and will exist when the universe of discourse collapses back upon itself . In that mystical space , outside of meter , Stormy hold back for me . Only through fourth dimension can time be conquered , and the way forward is the only means back to my girl .
Yet again , because of recent event , I have been call a hero , and again I do n’t feel like one .
Annamaria insists that simple hours originally , I saved integral metropolis , sparing many hundreds of K from nuclear terrorist act . Even if that is most likely on-key , I feel as though , in the process , I have forfeited a while of my soul .
To foil the confederacy , I kill four men and one young cleaning lady . They would have killed me if give a luck , but the honest title of ego - vindication does n’t make the killing prevarication less heavily upon my tenderness .
I was n’t put up to kill . Like all of us , I was born for pleasure . This impoverished earth , however , interrupt most of us , craunch relentlessly on its metaled tracks .
Leaving Magic Beach , fear pursuit , I had drive the Mercedes that my ally Hutch Hutchison bestow me . After several mile , when the memories of recent violence drown me , I stopped along the side of the route and changed post with Annamaria .
Now , behind the wheel , by way of consolation , she say , “ life sentence is hard , young man , but it was not always so . ”
I have known her less than twenty - four hours . And the longer I eff her , the more she mystifies me . She is perhaps eighteen , almost four age young than me , but she seems much older . The things she says are often cryptic , though I experience that the meaning would be clean-cut to me if I were wiser than I am .
kick but not untempting , bantam , with flawless pale skin and nifty drab middle , she seems to be about seven months fraught . Any girl her age , in her condition , alone in the world as she is , ought to be anxious , but she is calm and confident , as if she believes that she exist a charmed life — which often seems to be the case .
We are not linked romantically . After Stormy , there can be none of that for me . Although we do not speak of it , between us there is a kind of making love , platonic but mysterious , strangely thick moot that we have jazz each other such a short while . I have no sis , although perhaps this is how I would feel if I were Annamaria ’s brother .
Magic Beach to Santa Barbara , our destination , is a four - minute drive , a straight shot down the coast . We have been on the road less than two hour when , two miles past the picturesque town of Moonlight Bay and Fort Wyvern — an U. S. Army al-Qaeda that has been closed since the conclusion of the Cold War — she says , “ Do you finger it pulling at you , rummy one ? ”
My name is Odd Thomas , which I excuse in late volumes of this memoir , which I will no doubt explicate again in next volume , but which I will not explicate here , in this detour from the master arc of my journeying . Until Annamaria , only Stormy call me “ funny one . ”
I am a short - order cook , though I have n’t function in a diner since I left Pico Mundo eighteen months earlier . I neglect the griddle , the inscrutable pullet . A line of work like that is centering . Griddle body of work is Zen .
“ Do you finger it perpetrate ? ” she repeats . “ Like the gravity of the moon pulling tides through the sea . ”
Curled on the backseat , the favourable retriever , Raphael , rumble as if in response to Annamaria ’s question . Our other dog , the white German shepherd named Boo , of course of action makes no auditory sensation .
Slumped in my keister , head word resting against the coolheaded glass of the window in the rider threshold , half hypnotized by the pattern in the stars , I feel nothing unusual until Annamaria asks her question . But then I smell out remarkably that something in the night summons me , not to Santa Barbara but elsewhere .
I have a sixth sensation with several facets , the first of which is that I can see the spirits of the linger dead , who are loth to move on to the Other Side . They often desire me to land judge to their murderers or to help them find the braveness to scotch from this world to the next . Once in a while , I have a prophetic pipe dream . And since pass on Pico Mundo after Stormy ’s violent end , I seem to be mesmerise and drawn toward spot of trouble , to which some Power wishes me to travel .
My life has mysterious purpose that I do n’t understand , and 24-hour interval by solar day , dispute by conflict , I learn by going where I have to go .
Now , to the west , the ocean is sinister and baleful except for a distorted reflection of the icy moon , which on those water thaw into a long silvery stain .
In the headlamp , the upset white line on the blacktopping flashes toward the Dixie .
“ Do you feel it pull in ? ” she asks again .
The inland hills are dark , but ahead on the rightfulness , kitty of warm light welcome travelers at a cluster of go-ahead that are not associated with a town .
“ There , ” I say . “ Those sparkle . ”
As presently as I talk , I know we will happen dying in this place . But there is no sour back . I am compelled to do in these type . Besides , this woman seems to have become my backup scruples , gently reminding me what is the right thing to do when I falter .
A hundred grounds past a sign that promises food fuel lodging , an exit from the main road looms . She take it tight , but with confidence and skill .
As we hit the foot of the ramp and halt at a stop sign , I say , “ You experience it , too ? ”
“ I ’m not gifted as you are , odd one . I do n’t feel such thing . But I know . ”
“ What do you know ? ”
“ What I need to know . ”
“ Which is ? ”
“ Which is what is . ”
“ And what is this what - is that you recognise ? ”
She smile . “ I know what matters , how it all works , and why . ”
The smiling suggests she enjoy pick off me by being enigmatic — although there is no meanness in her comb-out .
I do n’t trust there is any illusion in her , either . I am win over she always speaks the trueness . And she does not , as it might seem , sing in code . She speaks the truth profoundly but perhaps as poet speak it : obliquely , utilize paradox , symbol , metaphors .
I met her on a public pier in Magic Beach . I know nothing of nitty-gritty about her past . I do n’t even know her last name ; she claims that she does n’t have one . When I first saw Annamaria , I sensed that she harbored extraordinary secrets and that she needed a supporter . She has accepted my friendly relationship and has given hers to me . But she concur tightly to her secrets .
The point sign is at an Cartesian product with a two - lane county route that parallels the res publica highway . She plow leave and drive toward a service station that is open even in these lonely hours before dawn , offer a discount brand of gasolene and a mechanic on call .
Instead of a double score of gasoline pumps that a motortruck stop might declare oneself , this station provides just four pumps on two island . At the moment , none is in use .
Dating from the 1930s , the flat - roofed clean - stucco building have Art Deco item , including a stamp - plaster frieze revealed by lights in the overhanging pelmet . The frieze depicts stylized cars and borzoi hound hasten perpetually , paint in yellow , grays , and royal blue sky .
The place is quaint , a slight architectural gem from an age when even humble structures were often slyly designed and embellished . It is impeccably sustain , and the warm Christ Within in the acid of the French windows no doubt take care welcoming to an median traveller , although nothing here charms me .
suspicion sometimes whisper to me but is seldom loud . Now it is equivalent to a shout , warning me that although this post might be pleasing to the eye , under the attractive surface lies something tremendous .
In the backseat , Raphael growls low again .
I say , “ I do n’t like this place . ”
Annamaria is unperturbed . “ If you wish it , young humans , there ’d be no reason for us to be here . ”
A towage hand truck stands beside the station . One of the two bay door is conjure , and even at this hour , a mechanic work on on a Jaguar .
A nattily dressed gentleman with a mane of silver hair — perhaps the proprietor of the Jaguar , late rescue from the side of the highway — stand watching the grease monkey and sip coffee from a newspaper cup . Neither of them looks up as we cruise past .
Three eighteen - wheelers — a Mack , a Cascadia , and a Peterbilt — are parked on the farther side of the station . These well - polished rigs come along to belong to owner - operators , because they have custom pigment occupation , numerous chrome add - ons , twofold - hump fenders , and the like .
Beyond the truck , a farsighted broken construction seems to be a dining car , in a stylus matching the divine service place . The eatery declare itself with rooftop red - and - blue Ne : HARMONY CORNER / capable 24 hours . Two pickups and two S.U.V. are in front of the diner , and when Annamaria parks there , the Mercedes ’ headlights brighten a star sign inform us that for bungalow lease we should ask within .
The third and final element of this enterprise , ten cottages , lies past the restaurant . The units are arrange in an arc , sheltered under mature New Zealand Christmas trees and graceful acacias softly but magically lighted . It appear to be a motor court from the early twenty-four hours of car travelling , a place where Humphrey Bogart might hide out with Lauren Bacall and eventually end up in a gunfight with Edward G. Robinson .
“ They ’ll have two cottage usable , ” Annamaria predicts as she switches off the engine . When I start to afford my door , she says , “ No . Wait here . We ’re not far from Magic Beach . There may be an all - points bulletin out for you . ”
After thwarting delivery of the four thermonuclear devices to terrorist , bare hours in the first place , I ’d shout out the FBI billet in Santa Cruz to report that they could line up four bomb trigger among the used clothing in a Salvation Army collection bin in Magic Beach . They know I ’m not one of the conspirators , but they are eager to talk with me anyway . As far as the FBI is interest , this is prom night , and they do n’t want me leaving the dance with anyone but them .
“ They do n’t jazz my name , ” I control Annamaria . “ And they do n’t have my picture . ”
“ They might have a skilful verbal description . Before you show yourself around here , Oddie , countenance ’s see how big a floor it is on the intelligence . ”
I distill my notecase from a hip air pocket . “ I ’ve set about some cash . ”
“ So do I. ” She beckon off the wallet . “ Enough for this . ”
As I slump in the disconsolate car , she exit into the diner .
She is have on gymnastic shoes , gray slacks , and a sloppy perspirer that does n’t hide her pregnancy . The sleeves are too longsighted , cling past the first knuckles of her finger . She looks like a street child .
People warm to her on lot , and the trust that she inspires in everyone is uncanny . They are n’t likely to plow her away just because she miss a quotation bill of fare and ID .
In Magic Beach , she had been living rent - complimentary in an flat above a garage . She says that although she never asks for anything , masses give her what she needs . I have seen that this is true .
She claims there are multitude who require to kill her , but she seems to have no care of them , whoever they might be . I have yet to see proof that she fears anything .
Earlier , she asked if I would cash in one’s chips for her . Without hesitation , I said that I would — and intend it .
I do n’t interpret either my reaction to her or the source of her power . She is something other than she looks like . She tells me that I already know what she is and that I only demand to consent the noesis that I already possess .
Weird . Or maybe not .
Long ago , I learned that , even with my 6th signified , I am not a singularity and that the reality is a place of layered curiosity beyond count . Most the great unwashed unconsciously blind themselves to the genuine nature of existence , because they dread eff that this mankind is a place of mystery and meaning . It ’s infinitely easier to live in a world that ’s all surface , that means nothing and demands nothing of you .
Because I so love this wondrous world , I am by nature optimistic and of good sense of humour . My friend and mentor Ozzie Boone says airiness is one of my good timber . However , as though to warn that spare buoyancy might guide to carelessness , he sometimes remind me that shit , too , floats .
But on my bad days , which are uncommon and of which this is one , I can get down so low that the bottom seems to be where I belong . I do n’t even require to look for a fashion up . I suppose surrender to lugubriousness is a sin , though my current sadness is not a black depression but is instead a sorrow like a retentive glum twilight .
When Annamaria return and gets behind the wheel , she hands me one of two keys . “ It ’s a courteous place . Sparkling clean . And the food smells good . It ’s call Harmony Corner because it ’s all have and operated by the Harmony family , quite a large clan judging by what Holly Harmony told me . She ’s the lone wait this shift . ”
Annamaria starts the Mercedes and driving force to the motor courtroom , repeatedly glancing at me , which I pretend not to notice .
After she parks between two cottage and switch off the engine and the headlights , she order , “ Melancholy can be seductive when it ’s twined with ego - pity . ”
“ I do n’t condole with myself , ” I assure her .
“ Then what would you call it ? Perhaps self - sympathy ? ”
I settle not to answer .
“ ego - compassion ? ” she suggests . “ ego - ruth ? Self - condolence ? ”
“ I did n’t think it was in your nature to needle a guy wire . ”
“ Oh , young Isle of Man , I ’m not needle you . ”
“ Then what would you call it ? ”
“ Compassionate mockery . ”
The landscape lamps in the overhanging trees , filter through leaves that quiver in a gentle picnic , flutter feathery prosperous light across the windshield and across Annamaria ’s face and sure as shooting across my face as well , as if projected upon us is a film involving winged battalion .
I prompt her , “ I killed five citizenry tonight . ”
“ Would it be better if you had break down to resist evil and had killed no one ? ”
I say nothing .
She run : “ Those would - be mass murderers . . . do you suppose they would have deliver peacefully at your stern request ? ”
“ Of course not . ”
“ Would they have been willing to debate the righteousness of the crimes they intended to commit ? ”
“ The mockery I get , but I ca n’t see how it ’s compassionate . ”
She is unrelenting . “ Perhaps they would have been unforced to go with you on that telly - courtroom show and get Judge Judy decide whether they did or did not have the moral authority to nuke four cities . ”
“ No . They ’d be too scared of Judge Judy . I ’m frightened of Judge Judy . ”
“ You did the only thing you could have done , untested world . ”
“ Yeah . All right . But why do I have to go from Magic Beach to Harmony Corner in the same night ? So much death . No matter how bad those the great unwashed were , no matter how bad someone might be here . . . I ’m not a obliterate machine . ”
She achieve out to me , and I take her hand . Although I ca n’t explain why , the very tangency lifts my spirits .
“ Maybe there wo n’t be any killing here , ” she say .
“ But it ’s all quicken . ”
“ What is ? ”
“ My life , these threat , the craziness — coming at me like an avalanche . ”
The feathers of voiced light flutter not just across her face but also in her eyes as she hug my hand . “ What do you most want , Oddie ? What Leslie Townes Hope drives you ? The promise of a little rest , some leisure metre ? The hope of an uneventful , quiet life as a fry cook , a skid salesman ? ”
“ You know it ’s none of that . ”
“ separate me . I ’d like to hear you say it . ”
I close my eyes and see in memory the card that came out of a fortune - telling automobile in a carnival arcade six years sooner , when with Stormy at my side I had bought a precious promise for a fourth .
“ Ma’am , you bonk what the card said — ‘ You are destined to be together forever . ' ”
“ And then she died . But you kept the card . You continued to believe in the truth of the identity card . Do you still believe in it ? ”
Without hesitation , I answer : “ Yes . I ’ve got to think . It ’s what I have . ”
“ Well then , Oddie , if the promise that drive you is the true statement of that card , might not the acceleration that frightens you be what you really desire ? Might you be revive toward the fulfilment of that prediction ? Could it be that the avalanche coming at you is nothing more than Stormy ? ”
Opening my eyes , I meet her stare once more . The fluttering wings reflected on her face and in her dark eyes might also be the flutter of gilded fire . I am remind that flaming not only consumes ; it also purifies . And another word for refinement is redemption .
Annamaria cocks her head and smiles . “ Shall we ascertain a castle with a suited elbow room where you may do your version of Hamlet ’s most famous monologue to your warmheartedness ’s content ? Or shall we just get on with this ? ”
I am not out of smiles , after all . “ We ’d well be getting on with it , ma’am . ”
Our only luggage is a bond of intellectual nourishment for us and the halcyon retriever , which was pack by our friend Blossom Rosedale in Magic Beach . After Raphael finds a patch of grass in which to pee , I watch the wienerwurst and Annamaria to Cottage 6 , which she has taken for herself , and I leave the trammel with her .
On the stoop , delivery made , as I grow away , she says , “ Whatever bechance here , trust your meat . It ’s as true as any compass . ”
The blank German shepherd , Boo , has been with me for several months . Now he accompanies me to Cottage 7 . Because he is a touch wienerwurst , he has no need to pee , and he walks through the door before I can unlock it .
The accommodations are uncontaminating and informal . ride country , bedroom bay , bathing tub . The unit of measurement seems to have been remodeled and raise within the past few years .
There ’s even an under - the - counter electric refrigerator that do as an laurels saloon . I take a can of beer and pop up the tab .
I am exhausted but not sleepy-eyed . Now , two hour before dawn , I ’ve been awake twenty - two hours ; yet my brain spins like a centrifuge .
After switch on the TV , I sit down with the remote in an armchair , while Boo search every cranny of the bungalow , his curiosity as keen in demise as in life . planet table service provide a huge assortment of programming . But nearly everything seems stale or wilted .
As far as I can tell from the cable - word channels , the thwarted nuclear terrorists in Magic Beach have not made the word . I suspect they never will . The government will decide that the public prefers to remain unknowing of such disturbing nigh disasters , and the political course prefers to keep them ignorant rather than arouse in them suspicions of corruption and incompetence in high places .
On NatGeo , in a infotainment about big cat , the narrator informs us that panther are a variety of Panthera pardus , black with shameful spot . A jaguar with golden eye stares straight at the camera , bares its Fang , and in a low , rough voice say , “ Sleep . ”
I realize that I am less than half awake , in that twilight consciousness where dreams and the real world sometimes intersect . Before I drop off and splatter the beer , I put the about empty can on the board beside the armchair .
On the screen , a panther take over an antelope with its claw , pulls the target off its foot , and tears out its throat . The graphic violence does not scandalize me awake but instead weighs on me , wearies me . Lifting its head , the triumphant computerized tomography stares at me , profligate and saliva drizzling from its rima oris , and says , “ Sleep . . . sleep . ”
I can finger the lyric as well as hear them , sound waves issuing from the TV verbaliser , pulsate through me , a kind of sonic massage that relaxes my tense muscles , soothes the taut fibre of my cheek .
Several hyaena test the panther as it drag in the antelope into a tree diagram to feed on it in high branches where neither these wolfish contender nor Panthera leo — which also do not climb — are able-bodied to come .
A hyena , wild - eyed and repelling , bares its ragged tooth at the camera and whispers , “ Sleep . ” The rest of the pack retell the word , “ log Z’s , ” and the transonic waves quiver through me with a most pleasing soporific effect , as does the voice of the Felis concolor in the Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree , while the head of the antelope lolls on its ruined neck , its fixed eye glazed with the most staring sleep of all .
I close my eyes , and the panther of the waken dreaming follows me into slumber . I try the soft but heavy padding of its paws , feel its wiggly form slink through my intellect . For a moment , I am disquieted , but the trespasser whizz , and its purring calms me . Now the big cat is climbing into another tree , and although I am not numb , the brute carries me with it , for I am powerless to refuse . I am not afraid , because it tell me that I should have no veneration , and as before , not just the significance of the parole but also the sound wave of which they are form seem to anoint the water system of my judgement .
This is the tree of night , contraband subdivision reach high into the starless sky , and nothing can be regard but the panther ’s lantern eyes , which grow in sizing and luminance until they are owlish . In that abject , rough voice , it enunciate , Why ca n’t I take you ? Perhaps it is neither owl nor panther , because now I feel what seem to be finger , as if I am a book of countless varlet that are being turned , pages that prove to be blank , the fingers slide across the report as if seeking the raise dots of a biography in braille .
The modality alteration , the would - be reviewer ’s frustration is tangible , and in the darkness , the eyes are suddenly gullible with oval schoolchild . If this is a aspiration , it ’s also something more than a dream .
Although a dream shapes itself and ca n’t be consciously script by the escapist , when I like for light , I have the major power to call it away . Darkness begins to recede from the convoluted inglorious limbs of the Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree , and the shape of the would - be reader set about to coalesce out of the gloom .
I am lunge awake , as if the orphic fig in the incubus has thrown me out of it . I struggle to my human foot , aware of motion to my right , at the periphery of vision , but when I swivel toward it , I chance myself alone .
Behind me , something thrums , as if a span of exercise hands are strumming arpeggios from a harp with only bass drawing string . When I turn , no origin of the phone is obvious — and now it arises not from where it had been but from the bay in which remain firm the seam .
seek the source , I am led into the alcove and then to the lav door , which is ajar . shadow lies beyond .
In my debilitation and emotional confusion , I have forget my pistol . It ’s tucked under the front passenger place of the Mercedes .
The gun once belong to the married woman of a pastor in Magic Beach . Her husband , the reverend , had shoot her to death before she could shoot him . In their particular denomination of Christianity , the close are patently too impatient to wait for entreaty to solve their problems .
I push open up the bathroom door and switch on the brightness . The thrumming swell louder , but now amount from behind me .
Turning , I come upon that Boo has return , but he is not the primary point of stake . My care is drawn to what has also empale the dog : a quick crystalline something , visible only by the distortion that it imparts to things as it cut through the alcove , introduce the sitting area , seems to leap into the TV screen without shattering it , and is gone .
That comportment is so fast and shapeless , I half suspect that I have imagined it , except that the wildlife documentary on the TV ripples with concentrical rings , as if the vertical sieve is a horizontal body of water system into which a stone has been dribble .
blink repeatedly , I inquire if what I ’m check is real or if I have a problem with my imaginativeness . The phenomenon fall gradually until the icon on the CRT screen become clear and stable once more .
This was no ghost . When I see one of the lingering dead , it is the very trope of the once - living mortal , and it does n’t move quicker than the eye can follow .
The dead do n’t talk , and neither do they make other sounds . No rale of mountain chain . No ominous stride . They have no weight to make the stair treads creak . And they certainly do n’t thrum arpeggios from a bass - cosmic string harmonica .
I front at Boo .
Boo bet at me . His stern does n’t wag .
TWO
I am now wide alive .
The dream of tree and jaguar lasted less than five minute . I am still suffer serious sleep want , but I am as alive as might be a man in a foxhole when he knows the enemy will charge at any moment .
give the light on rather than retort to a dark cottage , I ill-use outside , lock the door , and remember the pistol from under the passenger seat of the Mercedes .
I am wearing a sweatshirt over a T - shirt , and I gather the pistol between them , under my belt , in the small of my back . It is n’t an idealistic style to carry a artillery , but I do n’t have a holster . And in the past , when I have resorted to this method , I have never accidentally shot off a lump of my butt .
Although I do n’t like artillery and do not usually carry one , and although killing even the worst of men in self - defence or in defence mechanism of the innocent leaves me sickened , I am not so fanatically antigun that I would rather be murdered — or ascertain a murder be give — than use one .
hoot materializes at my side .
He is the only feel of an animal that I have ever seen . An innocent , he surely has no fear of what he might face on the Other Side . Although he is extraneous and can not bite a bad guy , I believe that he lingers here because there will follow a moment when he will be Lassie to my Timmy and will save me from falling into an abandoned well or the equivalent .
unhappily , most kids these twenty-four hours do n’t know Lassie . The culture medium dog that they know good is Marley , who is less potential to save children from a well or from a combustion b than he is to barf on them and accidentally depart the barn flack in the first place .
The oppressive mood infecting me since recent event in Magic Beach seems to have lifted . inquisitively , nothing restores my common good sense and puts me back on the unbendable primer coat of reason like a creepy-crawly encounter with something apparently supernatural .
In the ignite branches of the trees , the weak breath of the night cause the leaves quiver as if in expectancy of an approach immorality . On the ground around me , tremble pattern of light and shadow create the illusion that the demesne is unstable underfoot .
The reviewer — whoever or whatever it might be — want something more than to know me . As sure as the antelope in the documentary film is a few days ’ Charles Frederick Worth of meals to the Felis onca , I am prey , perhaps not to be eaten but in some mode to be used .
raspberry looks at me . Then he looks at Annamaria ’s get off window .
At bungalow 6 , as I pink light on the door , it swings open as though the latch must not have been engaged . I step within and bump her pose in a chair at a pocket-sized table .
She has taken an Malus pumila from the hamper , peeled and segment it . She is apportion the fruit with Raphael . Sitting at attending beside her professorship , the fortunate retriever crush one of the slices and licks his chops .
Raphael expect at Boo and twitches his can , well-chosen that there ’s no need to share his lot with a wraith dog . All dogs see lingering spirits ; they are n’t as self - deluded about the true nature of the domain as most people are .
“ Has anything unusual materialize ? ” I ask Annamaria .
“ Is n’t something unusual always happening ? ”
“ You ’ve had no . . . no visitant of any kind ? ”
“ Just you . Would you like some apple , Oddie ? ”
“ No , ma’am . I call back you ’re in danger here . ”
“ Of the many people who want to belt down me , none is in Harmony Corner . ”
“ How can you be sure ? ”
She shrugs . “ No one here cognise who I am . ”
“ I do n’t even know who you are . ”
“ You see ? ” She gives another slice of apple to Raphael .
“ I wo n’t be next room access for a while . ”
“ All decently . ”
“ In event you shout for me . ”
She appears amused . “ Whyever would I scream ? I never have . ”
“ Never in your whole aliveness ? ”
“ One screams when one is startled or frightened . ”
“ You said multitude want to kill you . ”
“ But I ’m not afraid of them . You do what you want to do . I ’ll be fine . ”
“ possibly you should make out with me . ”
“ Where are you locomote ? ” she asks .
“ Here and there . ”
“ I ’m already here , and I ’ve been there . ”
I expect at Raphael . Raphael look at Boo . bird looks at me .
“ Ma’am , you asked if I would die for you , and I said yes . ”
“ That was very sweet of you . But you ’re not rifle to have to go for me tonight . Do n’t be in such a rush . ”
I once thought Pico Mundo had more than its portion of eccentric folks . Having travel some , I now know eccentricity is the universal trait of humans .
“ Ma’am , it might be dangerous to sleep . ”
“ Then I wo n’t sleep . ”
“ Should I get you some black coffee bean from the diner ? ”
“ Why ? ”
“ To help you appease awake . ”
“ I suppose you kip when you need to . But you see , unseasoned world , I only sleep when I desire to . ”
“ How does that work ? ”
“ Splendidly . ”
“ Do n’t you need to have a go at it why it could be dangerous to sleep ? ”
“ Because I might fall out of bed ? Oddie , I trust your admonition is n’t frivolous , and I will remain alert . Now go do whatever you have to do . ”
“ I ’m conk out to snoop around . ”
“ Then snoop , snoop , ” she says , making a shooing movement .
I retreat from her bungalow and shut the doorway behind me .
Already Boo is walking toward the diner . I follow him .
He fades away like daze evaporating .
I do n’t know where he goes when he dematerializes . Maybe a ghost frump can travel to and from the Other Side as he please . I have never take theology .
For the last daylight of January along the central glide , the nighttime is mild . And quiet . The air smells faintly , agreeably , of the ocean . Nevertheless , my sense of impend hazard is so swell that I wo n’t be surprised if the ground open up under my foot and swallows me .
Big moth caper around the mark on the roof of the diner . Their natural coloring material must be white , because they become solely blue or scarlet depending on which Ne is closer to them . Bats , moody and changeless , circle ceaselessly , give on the bright cloud .
I do n’t see sign and prognostication in everything . The voracious yet silent flying rodent chill me , however , and I decide not to stop first at the diner , as had been my intention .
Past the three eighteen - Sir Mortimer Wheeler , at the service station , the Jaguar is gone . The mechanic is sail the floor of the garage .
At the open bay door , I say , “ Good morning , sir , ” as cheerfully as if a gorgeous pink dawn has already painted the sky and choirs of songbirds are celebrating the natural endowment of life sentence .
When he looks up from his study with the push broom , it ’s a Phantom of the Opera second . A grisly scar extend from his left ear , across his upper backtalk , through his low-down lip , to the right side of his Kuki-Chin . Whatever the cause of the wound , it appears as if it might have been sewn up not by a MD but instead by a fisher using a hook and a duration of loss leader conducting wire .
With no apparent self - consciousness about his coming into court , he says , “ Hello there , son , ” and favour me with a grin that would make Dracula back off . “ You ’re up even before Wally and Wanda have think about goin’ to seam . ”
“ Wally and Wanda ? ”
“ Oh , distressing . Our possum . Some say them two is just grown ugly red - eyed rats . But a pouched mammal is n’t no dirty dog . And ugly is like they say about ravisher — it ’s in the center of the beholder . How you feel about phalanger ? ”
“ Live and let live . ”
“ I check that Wally and Wanda get the throw - away food from the buffet car each and every Nox . It makes ’em fat . But their life sentence is surd , what with flock lions and bay lynx and packs of coyotes with a taste for opossum . Do n’t you think possums they have a hard life ? ”
“ Well , sir , at least Wally has Wanda and she has Wally . ”
suddenly his blue eyes glimmer with unshed tear and his scarred lips tremble , as if he is almost undone by the idea of possum sexual love .
He looks like about forty , though his whisker is atomic number 26 greyish . In spite of the hideous scar , he has an avuncular tone suggesting that he ’s as good with shaver as he is tolerant to fauna .
“ You ’ve gone right to the very heart of it . Wally has Wanda , and Donny has Denise , which makes anythin ’ fair to middling . ”
run up on the knocker pocket of his uniform shirt is the name Donny .
He blinks back his tears and says , “ What can I do for you , Logos ? ”
“ I ’ve been up awhile , need to stay awake awhile longer . I figure anyplace truckers stop must sell caffeine tablets . ”
“ I ’ve get NoDoz in the gum - and - candy case . Or in the vendin ’ machine , there ’s high - octane stuff like Red Bull or Mountain Dew , or that young vim drink prognosticate Kick - Ass . ”
“ They really nominate it Kick - Ass ? ”
“ Are n’t no standards anymore , anywhere , in anythin ’ . If they thought it would sell better , they ’d call the stuff Good Shit . Excuse my speech . ”
“ No trouble , sir . I ’ll take a package of NoDoz . ”
run me through the service department to the station office , Donny sound out , “ Our seven - twelvemonth - old , he learned about sexuality from some Saturday - mornin ’ cartoon show . Out of nowhere one solar day , Ricky he says he do n’t need to be either straightforward or jolly , it ’s all disgustin ’ . We disconnect our satellite dish . No standards anymore . Now Ricky he watches all them old Disney and Warner Brothers toons on DVD . You never have to interest if maybe Bugs Bunny is goin’ to get it on with Daffy Duck . ”
In addition to the NoDoz , I buy two candy bars . “ Does the vending machine accept dollars or do I need change ? ”
“ It takes poster just hunky-dory , ” Donny says . “ untried as you look , you ca n’t have been drivin ’ a rig long . ”
“ I ’m not a trucker , sir . I ’m an out - of - piece of work fry Captain James Cook . ”
Donny keep an eye on me outdoors , where I get a can of Mountain Dew from the vend machine . “ My Denise , she ’s a nestling Captain James Cook over to the buffet car . You got yourself your own secret language . ”
“ Who does ? ”
“ You fry cooks . ” The two sections of his cicatrix become misaligned when he grins , as if his case is issue forth apart like a piece of dropped crockery . “ Two cows , make ’em call out , give ’em blankets , and mate ’em with slob . ”
“ Diner slang . That ’s a waitress send for out an order for two hamburgers with onions , cheese , and bacon . ”
“ That stuff tickles me , ” he says , and indeed he looks tickled . “ Where you been a tike James Cook — when you had work , I mean ? ”
“ Well , sir , I ’ve been bouncing around all over . ”
“ It must be nice seein ’ new places . Have n’t seen no newfangled place in a longsighted time . Sure would care to take Denise somewhere bracing . Just the two of us . ” His eyes fill with tears again . He must be the most sentimental machine machinist on the West Coast . “ Just the two of us , ” he ingeminate , and under the tenderness in his spokesperson , which any reference of his wife seems to evoke , I get wind a note of despair .
“ I judge with tike it ’s operose to get off , just you two . ”
“ There ’s never no gettin ’ away . No way , no how . ”
perchance I ’m imagining more in his eyes than is really there , but I suspect that these latest unshed tears are as blistering as they are salty .
When I wash down a pair of NoDoz with the soda pop , he say , “ You jolt your organisation like this a lot ? ”
“ Not a lot . ”
“ You do too much of this , son , you ’ll give yourself a for - sure bleedin ’ ulcer . Too much caffein deplete away the stomach linin ’ . ”
I tilt my head back and debilitate the too - sweet soda in a few retentive swallow .
When I drop the empty can in a nearby trash barrel , Donny says , “ What ’s your name , son ? ”
The representative is the same , but the tonicity is unlike . His affability is go . When I take on his eyes , they ’re still profane , but they have a steely calibre that I have not seen before , a fresh directness .
Sometimes an improbable story can seem too unlikely to be a lie , and therefore it slake intuition . So I adjudicate on : “ Potter . Harry Potter . ”
His stare is as sharp as the stylus on a polygraph . “ That sound as material as if you ’d said � Bond . James Bond . ' ”
“ Well , sir , it ’s the name I ’ve get . I always liked it until the books and moving-picture show . About the one-thousandth metre someone asked me if I was really a genius , I started wishing my name was just about anything else , like Lex Luthor or something . ”
Donny ’s friendliness and folksy manner have for a instant made Harmony Corner seem almost as benign as Pooh Corner . But now the air smells less of the piquant sea than of decaying seaweed , the pump - island spotlight seems as harsh as the lights of an interrogative room in a police post , and when I search up at the sky , I can not find Cassiopeia or any constellation that I cognize , as if Earth has turn away from all that is intimate and comforting .
“ So if you ’re not a wizard , Harry , what line of workplace do you claim to be in ? ”
Not only is his flavour unlike , but also his phrasing . And he seems to have developed a problem with his short - full term memory .
Perhaps he register my surprisal and correctly surmises the cause of it , because he enjoin , “ Yeah , I know what you said , but I suspect that ’s not the one-half of it . ”
“ Sorry , but fry cook is the whole of it , sir . I ’m not a guy of many talents . ”
His heart narrow with suspicion . “ Eggs — wreck ’em and load ’em . Cardiac herpes zoster . ”
I translate as before . “ Serving three eggs instead of two is stretching them . Wrecking them mean shinny . Cardiac shingles are toast with additional butter . ”
With his eyes squinted to slits , Donny remind me of Clint Eastwood , if Clint Eastwood were eight inch shorter , thirty pound heavier , less good - looking for , with male person - pattern baldness , and ill scarred .
He makes a simple instruction sound like a threat : “ Harmony does n’t need another short - order of magnitude cook . ”
“ I ’m not applying for a line , sir . ”
“ What are you doing here , Harry Potter ? ”
“ Seeking the substance of my life . ”
“ Maybe your life does n’t have any meaning . ”
“ I ’m reasonably sure it does . ”
“ liveliness is meaningless . Every living . ”
“ Maybe that works for you . It does n’t make for me . ”
He clears his throat with a dissonance that makes me wonder if he indulges in unlawful personal grooming habits and has a nasty trichobezoar stuck in his esophagus . When he spits , a disgusting wad of mucous secretion splatters the pavement , two inches from my right skid , which no doubt was his intended target .
“ Life is meaningless except in your suit . Is that it , Harry ? You ’re better than the rest of us , huh ? ”
His facial expression tightens with inexplicable anger . Gentle , sentimental Donny has morphed into Donny the Hun , descendent of Attila , who seems capable of sudden senseless violence .
“ Not unspoiled , sir . believably worse than a set of the great unwashed . Anyway , it is n’t a matter of better or worse . I ’m just different . Sort of like a porpoise , which see like a Pisces the Fishes and swim like a fish but is n’t a fish because it ’s a mammal and because no one want to rust it with a side of chips . Or perchance like a prairie dog , which everyone calls a dog but is n’t really a dog at all . It face like possibly a chubby squirrel , but it is n’t a squirrel , either , because it hold out in tunnels , not in tree diagram , and it hibernate in the winter but it is n’t a bear . A prairie weenie would n’t say it was estimable than real dog-iron or better than squirrel or bears , just different like a porpoise is different , but of course of study it ’s nothing like a porpoise , either . So I think I ’ll go back to my bungalow and eat my confect bar and think about porpoise and prairie dogs until I can express this analogy more distinctly . ”
Sometimes , if I pretend to be an airhead and a morsel screw-loose , I can convert a bad bozo that I ’m no threat to him and that I ’m not deserving the waste of time and Energy Department he would have to expend to do spoilt things to me . On other occasion , my pretense incense them . Walking away , I half expect to be club to the ground with a tire iron .
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