Edward Reminds You To “ Be Safe ” In Bed
Get a shadowyEdward Silhouette bulwark decalto stand precaution over your bottom and cue you all that you should n’t have sex until you ’re married and it kills you — or ride dirt motorcycle . It ’s $ 60 , but call up of it this way : it ’s an investment in your sex life history . contraceptive are expensive , but this rampart decal will keep everyone out of your sleeping accommodation for twelvemonth .
apportion The Dream Together Sheets
Surround yourself with vampire love , hearts , and shame . Available at ebay .
Go Green With Twilight
Now you may be frothy and Green . Team Jacob And Team Edward piss bottles , sold at a quick food joint . Hypocrisy , thy name is Edward !
sense Like Your Favorite New Moon Character
lamia and Werewolfbody software , liquid ecstasy and oils . Poor Alice : her trademark scent is described as “ spirited ” while Edward is “ intoxicating ” and Bella is “ resistless . ” Anyone else wishing Jacob ’s smelled like wet hound ?
Twilight Bed Crown
know in your own moody expiry shroud , for a mere$14.00 .
Twilight Checkbook Cover
This might be a really apt joke , since Twilight is one of the biggest hard currency cows in history — but we have a touch sensation there ’s no sardonic wit involve in this Twilight checkbook cover .
Bella ’s uterus
Well , it was tie to befall , someone was resile to make a felt reading of Bella Swan ’s womb … wait WHAT . HER WOMB ? SOMEONE FELTED HER WOMB ? WITH THE MUTATED BLOOD - CRAVING grownup BABY RENESMEE INSIDE ? TELL US WHY . WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THIS ? ?
gloam Mosaic Table
possibly Joseph Fiennes would want to decorate his back patio with this . Ha ha ha ha ha it ’s a FlashForward joke . But badly , he probably would desire this exquisitely crafted firearm of article of furniture .
My Mommy ’s a “ Bella ” Onesie
If your momma really is a “ Bella ” , that imply you are a demon spawn whose father had to rive through your mommy ’s tummy with his lamia teeth to release you from her uterus . You also will grow abnormally fast , be a child forever , and have a altogether consensual love affair with a werewolf 17 age your senior . So that ’s good .
Twilight Converse
Better not scuff these up , y’ all . There is no greater artistic creation class than tumescent rouge - decorated Chucks .
Bella ’s St. Jude Bracelet
Bella ’s St. Jude bracelet from Hot Topic stay fresh the apocryphal Apostelic Father close to your heart , but we have no idea why – THIS IS NOT IN THE BOOK ; THIS IS NOT CANON , PEOPLE .
DuWop Twilight Venom
Not for the swoon of heart , this lip venomlets “ the alchemy transcend . ”(What ’s that have in mind , anyway ? )
Oh well — it will empower you to take circumstances into your own hands and find your own glinting vamp devotee ! Or just , you know , make your lips shiny . Either way – a win !
Bella ’s Wedding Ring
Yes you guy cable . You too can rush into a teenage wedlock prematurely , so that you could have sex without remorse . And have a demon raise in your uterus . And name her Renesmee . All because of this heavenly bauble .
Twilight Pillow
Apparently MS Paint is still the preferred mode of digital creativity in the howling human race of Stephenie Meyer , so here is an artfully designed pillow featuring a lamb jumping off a cliff . IT ’S A METAPHOR . For … twilit girls with suicidal urges after their swain get around up with them . It ’s beautiful .
Golden physical contact
Fangs are so passé , everyone get it on that eye coloring are the real indicator of a leaning for lineage suck and sex - abstaining .
Twi Shower
Nothing says “ early morning heart flak ” quite like a salutation from a heavyweight , take a leak off , floating vampire point in your bath . It ’s the Twilight shower curtain , and it ’s only $ 60 .
Wolf Pack Packaging Tape
Now you’re able to give your talent a Wolf Pack tattoo when you wrap and send off them ! Not to mention the hours of amusement you ’ll get out of “ giving ” some miserable unsuspecting boy a tape tattoo ( “ I promise it wo n’t hurt to take off ! ” ) . useable at the Twilight centre for entertainment joyfulness , Hot Topic .
Salt & Vampire Pringles
Now you do n’t need to carry on stalking R - Patz to happen out that vampires apparently taste exactly like vinegar and are in fact used as a fill-in for it . Just try these circumscribed version Pringles !
Hey , if vamps can eat us , why not the other way around ?
Cullen Crest bra
The jury ’s still out on whether or not this one is real , but if so , you had better be a well endowed fille who does n’t mind point off that space where cleavage commonly goes . If you ’re just with that , then show off this crest of a family you ’ll never go to ! Because they ’re fake ! And not real ! get word ME ? IT ’S A MOVIE , PEOPLE .
TwiCrotch : Edward panty
I ’m sure the vamp face panties weintroduced you to a few week agoare already mellow on your want leaning , but we by all odds wanted to prompt you of the awesomeness of them . I mean , who does n’t call for panties where the crotch faces INSIDE . Yeah , mull that one over , fans .
https://gizmodo.com/twilight-crotch-facing-panties-to-help-you-celebrate-my-5396405
Some of the most sensational , embarrassing and honestly gross Twilight saying tees , buttons and bags .
have sex at First Bite Cookbook
In Twilight , Esme and company ask for Bella over for some Italiano , so now you too can expand a lil lamia hospitality to your pet booster who will stare at you in quiet , shake their heads with sadness that you trust Stephenie Meyer with your discerning palate , as you seek to whip up some favorites from Love at First Bite include Bella ’s Lasagna , Harry ’s illustrious Fish Fry , and of class mushroom cappelletti as the principal course of study . See Twilight lunchbox for further command .
crepuscle add-in plot
The Twiboard biz ( So I have a matter for prefacing random words with Twi . Sue me.)was first glimpsed with the release of the New Moon logo , and for that reson , I fear it my have been swept under the table . Not to worry , I ’m here to remind you of all its cute mob - crest caper pieces , and the wonderfully poorly done Monopoly rake - off . Rush your fiat now , for hours of honey and blood - sucking use . I mean , I ’m just guessing .
https://gizmodo.com/first-look-at-twilight-board-game-and-eclipse-details-5158492
Bella ’s Birthday Dress
For maximal effect , make trusted your hair is n’t done and you wear black cons – this is like the American Girl Doll dress up get dreadfully incorrect . Especially since this is the attire Bella gets smack around in , for her tribute . Available atHot Topicnot that we try out it on or anything , shut up !
Twilight Barbie replica
summate to the category of slightly creepy yet entirely keeping in melody with the ease of the big merch , Mattel commissioned replication of Bella and Edward whose plastic skins are whiter than snowy ( though Eddie does n’t seem to coruscate as much as we would have mean ) . They ’re not available yet , but come November 25 , snatch up one up for the Twilhards in your sprightliness , so they can creepily act out the books on their own !
The minx : The Sparkly Dildo
If nothing else on this slightly worrisome leaning can assist you get as close to Edward as you ’d like , please considerTantus ’s sparkly The Vampdildo in its coolheaded pink colour . Backwhen we showed you it was uncommitted , do n’t forget to have it in the fridge before using it though , so you ’re certain to get that dusty , lifeless feeling a literal vamp ’s sparkly cock would be indisputable to have .
https://gizmodo.com/twilight-inspired-sparkle-sex-toy-heralds-the-coming-ap-5344802
Eddie ’s Volvo
Are you a relatively affluent eye ripened man or woman who have intercourse both Twilight and midrange luxury vehicles ? Then you should enter this contest . We do n’t think you will have that much competition .
Twi - Socks
So your ankle can be “ beautiful . ”
Bumper Stickers
Two thing about these bumper prickle and windowpane decals . First , the Cullens are terrible drivers . And second , think back when moms used to be proud of their kids with those horrible “ I have an accolade students at such and such High School ” ? We miss those stickers .
Dell Twilight tegument
Yup , in additon to swathing your monetary woes ( presumptively from spend so much on Twilight junk ) in your Twilove , you may now keep your poorDell warm with Twilight peel !
Do n’t leave to rip that gargantuan spikelet off cautiously when you grow up though .
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