Hamburgers Were Better When People Ground Their Own Meat

There ’s a scene in The Adventures of Augie March where Augie is sitting on the side of the road ( or is it a railroad track ? ) with a group of hobos eating hamburgers . Saul Bellow trace the Warren E. Burger as burnt on the outside and so rare as to be ice - dusty in the middle . It ’s probably because of how unseasoned and impressionable I was when I read that book that this is the platonic nonsuch of a hamburger to me .

But I never place them this way , and I seldom make them this way , because I ’d in all probability get sick .

It ’s the ground beef : chopped up at some filthy meat - process plant or skeevy supermarket backroom by a guy whose hired man was probably up his own asshole not five moment ago , you ca n’t trust the meat to be clean . Nose - pick fingers might be all over your meat . Someone might have sneezed on your pile of 85 - percent lean and then instantly slapped a close wrapper of plastic over the whole affair , entrap germs inside to worm their way into the innumerable nooks and fissure render by 1.37 pounds of grade - A bovine pitri knockout . Yech .

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Call me paranoid , but that does not animate me to prepare a cold - in - the - mediate burger . This is why essence sub are awesome : you may drudge your own well - washed meat in your own effervescent - clean grinder and be confident that your cake is pathogen - complimentary . I have to believe that everyone used to eat blacken - rarefied burgers back in the Clarence Shepard Day Jr. .

And it gets better ! you may get frisky with your inwardness blend . Chuck the chow out the window . No more settling for simply sirloin . No sir ; flux in some unretentive costa . perdition , you could grind up some bacon and shake off it in . Bacon is magic ! You could have magic Warren E. Burger ! Meat grinder give you power .

To be completely fair , I do n’t jazz much about meat grinders . Are they like coffee grinders , where it ’s good to squeeze the core aside than to chop it apart ? I dunno ! Is there an advantage to hand - detrition as oppose to one of those fancy electric model ? No idea , but I ’m assigning a story on meat mill decent now to retrieve out . Because I want one . I want burgers cooked cold - on - the - inside rare .

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